Disappointments in life are inevitable, we live in a fallen world. This morning I woke up and I realized that my priorities have been out of whack. There are times when we expect people (the creation) to fill what was only meant to be filled by God (our Creator). The realization of this came almost like a lightening bolt as I sat there fuming about how I GIVE so much to other people and don’t end up on the receiving end more often than not. It’s not that I give with the expectation of getting. I give IN LOVE. I give to see the joy on my loved one’s faces. I give because giving means to me that I cared enough to think about you and what would make YOU happy. The problem I have felt is not having the people I love most around me, consider the same…
Here I sat feeling this way on Easter Sunday – until the Holy Spirit said to me during service, “Kelly – you are looking to receive in ALL the wrong places, especially on THIS day. Don’t look for people to fill within you what has always been meant to be filled by only ME.”
I felt chastised, and rightfully so because on this day of days my Savior rose from the dead after experiencing the most horrific death – a death that He did NOT deserve in order to pave a way to give me the gift of eternal life. He gave me a gift I did not deserve. I wasn’t worthy of it, I hadn’t earned it, I didn’t deserve it.
Easter is not about MY giving to anyone else nor receiving from anyone else… It is about acknowledging and being THANKFUL for the gift that Jesus gave ME. When that chastisement came (softly, in love) I asked God for forgiveness, because TRULY everything I need (and everything I have) has come from HIM. We are not to look in expectation to others to fulfill a part of us that God meant to be filled solely with HIM. I thought about when God created Adam and He said in Genesis “It is not good for man to be alone.” He created Eve not to FILL any part of Adam but to provide Adam with companionship. In fact in Genesis 2:18 God said:
“It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”
Eve was to be a “helper” to Adam. Adam was to be the same to Eve. The one front and center in their lives was to be God. I am so thankful that God brought my loved ones into my life. He knew I needed them. BUT they were not given me to take the role only means for God. That high expectation is one that they would never be able to fulfill and it would be unfair to put that expectation on them. The role of completion is only a place deep within us that can be done by our God. Our Creator. God shares His glory with NO person. God wants us to be filled up with Him. Once again I could not help but realize that the expectations I had of my loved ones were not in line with the reason why God put them in my life.
“I came that they may have life and have it more abundantly.” (John 10:9)
The people that God has put in our lives is part of the abundance (extra) that He has provided us with. The life comes from HIM and the abundancy is ALL the additional blessings that He has given us. Your wife, your husband, your kids, your extended family – all those are the “abundancy” to the main blessing – life that God has given you. The Bible also says in John 1:3:
“Through Him all things were made: without Him nothing was made that has been made.”
God gives us ALL things. So the blessings of the relationships we have – are ALL gifts from Him… It kind of puts things in the right perspective doesn’t it? I think sometimes we put the “cart before the horse” – we must keep our perspective in the order it was meant to be….
A GOOD parent makes their children eat their dinner before offering them a dessert because they know that the meal will nourish their bodies. Give them energy and strength and health. But if that parent would give their children dessert first – the child might not have any room for dinner. We constantly have to double check ourselves at all stages in our walk with Him to make sure that we are putting and keeping Him first in our lives and looking for Him to fill all those crevices inside of us that need filling and to help us keep from making the mistake of filling it with things that He didn’t mean us to fill it with. Completion can only come with the filling of Holy Spirit.
Now, I am not saying that it isn’t nice to receive gifts and surprises from the ones you love. People SHOULD show affection to one another. Give generously out of love for one another. Remember not to take each other for granted. But some people do not know HOW to give. It doesn’t occur to them or they don’t think about it. They were not raised that way, or it is not their love language so it is a foreign concept to them. We are a product of our environments, unless God reaches inside us and changes what He wants to change. Our significant others are not placed within our lives to “make us whole” – that is not their purpose. They are there to be a companion to go through life with – the ups, the downs. Hopefully to grow together, and even more so – to draw each other closer to God. Anything else is less than what God wants for us. He wants us to love each other with the love He has (and does) show us. Jesus loved unselfishly. He did not “receive” back yet He continued on even to the point of death. He trusted in the Father and realized that what He needed, He received from Him. His completion came from His unity with the Father and with Holy Spirit. Three in One.
“Father, forgive me for starting the day off on the wrong foot – forgive me for the times when I have put others a head of you. YOU are my first priority. I need you EVERY day. Please help me to put You first in all I do. To look to You to fulfill the needs I have within myself. To fill my soul with You because I know that when I do that – I can pour into others the love that You pour into me. Lord, also forgive me for the high expectation of filling only what was meant to be filled with you and by you on those I love. That high expectation was not what they were created to do. I pray that You would fill ALL the empty spaces deep within me. Thank You for showing me and teaching me how to love as You love. In Jesus name, I pray. Amen.”
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