If you currently are a prodigal – you are probably ignoring or drowning out the voice of the Holy Spirit who is constantly trying to woo you back to the Father. How do I know this? Because I’ve been there. I know what it is like to lose my way. God has given us free will, so the choice to walk with Him is one we can submit to each day of our lives, or it is one we can choose to ignore and drown out. The choice has always been our own.
You can only write about what you know – this will probably be one of the most personal posts I share, I became a prodigal when innocently and unknowingly, I opened the door to the spiritual realm that I had no business opening. Truth be told I did not know what I was walking in to… I was hurting and I felt as though my life was out of control in a way I never expected it would be and I just wanted to run away. To escape the pain and confusion I was feeling and instead of running TO the Father for His help, the devil saw it as an opportunity to provide a door to a naïve believer and I stupidly opened the door. I may have been naïve because I did not know what i was walking in to, but when I realized I had no business being on the path I had chosen, I should have turned around. The Holy Spirit’s role is to guide us, direct us in the Way we should go. It is our choice to listen. I had found an escape that I thought would soothe the pain I was in. And it did falsely for a time – but it was an illusion and I can say, that all the while I was a prodigal, the whispering voice of the Holy Spirit continued to tell me to turn back. Sometimes He would shout at me, “TURN BACK.” I hadn’t realized where I had allowed myself to venture and how far I had fallen away from everything I believed or how much more pain the results of my prodigal journey and the ramifications of it would occur. The only way I can describe what it was like was like one of being in a soothing trance. In my pain I had run away from reality right into the arms of the enemy – the devil, who’s purpose the Bible tells us is: “To steal, kill and destroy.” (John 10:10). And he does it in the most unexpected ways… They are not always obvious ways to trap you. This is why the Bible tells us “we must be wise as serpents and innocent as doves.” (Matthew 10:16)
My prodigal choice was not drugs or alcohol or anything that you would THINK would physically put you in a trance like situation. Remember the battlefield is held WITHIN your mind. Satan saw an opportunity to derail me from God’s purpose in my life – and like a fly flying into a spider’s web. I became trapped. And at first I wasn’t aware of the fact I was trapped. But once I knew, I became accountable for what I was going to do about it… And for a while, I allowed myself to stay in a prodigal state and did nothing.
While I did nothing, the One I had given my life to at the age of 21 refused to let me stay where I had placed myself spiritually. As Matthew describes in Matthew 18:12 He left the 99 and came to rescue me. You see, TRULY “Greater is HE that is in me than he that is within the world.” (1 John 4:4) I can personally tell you that God’s grace and love and forgiveness and mercy is abundant and unless you go through a prodigal time – you can’t really understand the fullness of those words. Of what God saved you from. Sometimes God saves you from YOURSELF. God saved ME from MYSELF. No matter what you’ve done, where your at what you are going through OR WHAT YOU HAVE GONE THROUGH (I say that to those who are now ex-prodigals) – God loves us enough to not allow us to remain where we are.
The Bible doesn’t talk about what it was like for the prodigal son who returned home in terms with how he came to terms with the pain he had caused his father or his family or even what his relationship was like once he returned home with his brother. But it does show how his relationship with his father was restored. The most important thing is that HIS RELATIONSHIP WITH THE FATHER WAS RESTORED. Do you know what that is? That is TRUE peace. If you have been a prodigal, that is where your peace and your rest comes. Restoration IS from God. Forgiveness is something that we have to cover ourselves with daily. Once you have gone through a prodigal time it makes you super sensitive to where you are in your walk with God and also in your relationship with others. Now the prodigal’s son could not change whatever his brother’s feelings were towards him for what he had done – but if he was walking in forgiveness and love for his brother – his brother’s response to that was on him (the brother). We cannot control what others think of us, but we CAN walk in love and forgiveness as we have been forgiven and intercede in prayer for those we love.
I was a prodigal 11 years ago – in a way I never could have imagined I would have been. What the enemy meant to use to destroy me – God continues to use for His glory. My prodigal experience has deepened my understanding of God’s mercy, His forgiveness and His love. While I pray that most won’t need to go through a prodigal time to truly know all that Jesus died for when He hung on that cross for forgiveness of our sins, my heart is for those who have gone through (or are going through a prodigal time) to know that God still LOVES them. That God knew even before they went through (or are going through) what they are going through that they were going to choose to go through it! That there is “NOTHING that can separate you from the love of God through Christ Jesus.”(Romans 8:31-39)
“Surely the arm of the Lord is not too short to save nor His ear to dull to hear.” (Isaiah 59:1)
The next step is the hardest and one that I will write about in part 2 of my blog – The title, “Have You Forgiven You?”
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