I never understood people who put on airs or façades. It never made sense to me, I never learned how to be “fake” because I didn’t see the point in it… Listen, you can fool people, but you CANNOT fool God.
One of the things that I learned when I married the love of my life- my husband (a raw, true-blue, gloriously beautiful Texan), and transplanted myself from Massachusetts to Texas; is a southern saying that (when I discovered it actually had a double meaning), made me raise an eyebrow in surprise. (Now, this will probably make those of you who already know what I’m talking about, laugh and nod your head in agreement, as you already know what I’m going to write…)
A very common expression here in Texas, is when someone response to something you say by saying:
“Well, bless your heart.” Or they even take it to a deeper level – “bless your LITTLE heart…”
Never in my life had I ever heard a “blessing” that can be used in disguise as a curse. A curse drippingly said with mock politeness. It took me by surprise when I discovered that “bless your heart” actually has a double meaning (depending on who it is and how they feel about you) says it. Depending on the tone, “bless your heart” is not a term of endearment, expression of compassion, concern or for that matter – love. The double meaning of the phrase is widely known amongst southerners as one meant to be a blind-sided, back-stabbing insult – condescending, ill-will manner, said by someone who does NOT by ANY means want God’s blessing on your heart… The blessing is used as a way of flipping you off. (Although in all fairness, there are those who can sincerely mean it in a compassionate, concern manner) you just have to dissect the situation, the person saying it with a discerning spirit to figure out which manner it was meant.
Imagine that…
When I formed a very precious circle of southern friends, they took it upon themselves to quickly educate me on the TRUE meaning of “bless your heart.” This Northern girl (pointing to myself) has earned a reputation by my friends for not being someone who sugarcoats words. In fact, I have been told by family and friends alike that when I have a strong opinion about something, I don’t mince words. I have heard friends say, “If we want an honest or direct answer, we know in going to Kelly, she will give us one – albeit her opinion, it will be raw and real.”
And that’s true… I have never had a good poker face; my eyes and my expressions give my feelings/thoughts away. Fakeness is not part of the person God made me to be. That being said, because I feel things very deeply, I don’t do ANYTHING (or love anyone) halfway, there is no “grey in me. There is only black and white, and I have had to learn to guard my heart.
In Massachusetts, if we don’t like you, we don’t come off coy with a pseudo-polite, pretentiously concerned expression that we do. Bostonians will flat out tell you right up close to your face (so that you see the dislike and disdain and know that there is NO mistaking of ANY interpretation of where they are at in their opinion of your person), and some will even go (uncouthly and in my opinion with poor upbringing) as far as to flip you the bird (as they are already right up in your mug) as a form of a physical explanation mark of the fact. Believe me, in Massachusetts, there is no “blessing your heart” to try discerning the meaning, if they don’t like you, you won’t have to waste time trying to figure out if they do…
It is only when I came to Christ that Holy Spirit taught me that God wanted me to really consider what manner I said things, what words I chose and most importantly, if I said them in honesty and in love.
My mother has a saying that I try to abide by:
“Say what you mean, mean what you say, but don’t say it mean.”
The Bible speaks of the power of the tongue in Proverbs 18:21:
“The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit.”
Words MATTER to God. How you say them and what you say (not only about other people but about yourself) really DOES make a difference. Did you know that when we stand before God at the end of our lives, we will give an account of what we said and how we lived? That EVERYTHING we do and say is recorded in Heaven? Hebrews 4:13 says:
“Nothing in all creation is hidden from God’s sight. Everything is uncovered and laid bare before the eyes of him to whom we must give account.”
And Psalm 33:13 says:
“From heaven the Lord looks down and sees all mankind.”
It says in Luke 8:17:
“For there is nothing hidden that will not be disclosed, and nothing concealed that will not be known or brought out into the open.”
Your true meaning of what you said and how you meant it may be hidden to individuals, but it is NOT hidden to God. WORDS MATTER. HOW THEY ARE SAID MATTER. Words clearly show the condition of your heart. They are indeed a heart-thing.
If we claim to be a Christian but do not speak words in love – either directly or indirectly (both methods are wrong) God sees it, and our claims to be a Christian are deemed hypocritical; for our deeds do not line up with our claim, and our words testify to who we are (and where we are) in our walk with God. Words are crucial, for they come from the heart. God LOOKS at your heart.
Can you imagine your life is over and you are standing before God giving an account for your life, and a big TV comes down and a movie is played of you – from the moment you were born up until the moment you died…
And there you are “blessing someone’s heart” in a manner that doesn’t glorify God, or there you are standing boldly, smack right in front of someone'(in their personal space) cussing them out? I don’t know about you, but if that was displayed for ALL to see of me, I would be more than mortified, because it would show that the actions of my life were NOT “Christ-like” at all. Not ONCE did Jesus react or look at someone in that matter. And quite honestly (on this side of the dirt) neither should we… I’d be ashamed.
God tells us in His Word that the tongue has incredible power. We can use our tongue to bring blessings OR curses. Did you know that curses are real??? Oh yes! The tongue can be the most difficult muscle to control and leave us with great regret in the words we say. But the Bible tells us with the help of Holy Spirit we can have power and control over our tongue. The choice is ours. 1 Peter 3:10 says:
“Whoever would love life and see good days must keep their tongue from evil and their lips from deceitful speech.”
And in Colossians 4:6:
“Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.”
Psalm 34:13 instructs us to:
“Keep your tongue from evil and your lips from telling lies.”
And one of my favorites, Ephesians 4:29:
“Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.”
If we profess to be Christians (followers of Christ, or as I call us – The Called Remnant) we are to live in accordance with the Bible. Christ is to be the example of how we conduct ourselves. Living in a manner where we are going to stand and give an account for what we said and how we lived. If we want God to “bless OUR hearts” we need to pay attention to our words and what they say about our character; keeping in mind that God looks at the heart. What is God seeing in your heart? Does it line up with His Word? What is Holy Spirit speaking to you even now as you read these words? Do you need to ask the Father (as in Hebrews 8:10 and in Psalm 141:3):
“LORD, please remove my heart of stone and replace it with a heart of flesh. Set a guard over my mouth, LORD; keep watch over the door of my lips.“
Words REALLY DO matter, and not only what words you use, but how you say it. God sees the true intent even if the one you are speaking them to, doesn’t. I pray that God will TRULY (for real) bless the heart of every reader who reads this post and will make you (and me) conscientious of our words and actions, walking in the love that Jesus’ walked in and even now sits at the right hand of the Father, interceding IN LOVE with words praying on our behalf. Let’s strive to live as blessings (and not as curses) in the lives of all those God has us encounter – so that HE will TRULY be glorified, not only in our lives – but in the lives of others. God please make it so… In Jesus’ precious name… AMEN
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