One thing that I can say I’m learning in my walk with Christ is that the hard things that God asks us to do are probably the things that benefit us the most in doing them… Maybe that’s why they are so hard… Give you an example of what I mean? Okay, let’s take forgiveness. God asks us to walk in forgiveness, to forgive as Christ forgave. In fact, it says in Ephesians 4:31-32:
“Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.”
Matthew 6:14-15 tells us:
“For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.”
Forgiving someone who has hurt you, betrayed you, treated you badly, offended you and has NOT even ASKED to be forgiven goes against the grain of EVERYTHING the world indicates we should do. But we are not called to “follow the world” but to die to ourselves and live IN Christ. I’m not going to pretend this is an easy task, but this year, I can honestly say Holy Spirit is teaching me that when we do decide to walk IN forgiveness, He gives you further insight and discernment into the person you are releasing by walking in obedience and letting them go. It’s not a matter of verbally saying to them:
“I forgive you.”
It’s a matter of dropping whatever it is they have done at the foot of the cross, giving it over to God and then walking IN that release. It sets you free. In fact, I forgave someone this year who over a number of years, totally maligned my name, misjudged me and hurt me, turned against me in a way I never thought they would. I tried to walk in love, but a relationship takes two people – not one and this person was filled with such bitterness of soul (this was someone who is unsaved) and I could not reach them no matter how hard I tried. I went against the grain of my feelings and I decided that no matter what, I would choose every time I ran into that person, every opportunity that brought me face to face with them that I would willfully walk in forgiveness, even though I had verbally asked them to forgive me if I had offended them and had not received a response, even though I had not asked for forgiveness for how they had hurt me, nor had they offered it. Walking in forgiveness IS walking in obedience and it is the hardest thing in THIS world to do.
When God asks something of us, He asks for a reason. He may not reveal what “the reason” is to us, but even if He doesn’t, that doesn’t mean we don’t try to do whatever it is He is asking. I believe that is a form of trust, trusting that the Father knows what He is doing, has a purpose for it and that it IS for our good, even if everything inside us wants to do the opposite of what He is asking.
Here is what I am learning this year, forgiving someone who doesn’t recognize what they have done to you (even if you have tried at some point to address it) IS portraying the love of Christ. Forgiving someone doesn’t necessarily mean you approach them and say, “I forgive you.” But that you in the quiet of your heart, silently choose to forgive them and walk accordingly. I’m not going to lie to you and say that this is something that I immediately have learned to do, it has been a process. Forgiving and releasing someone who sins against you allows you to intercede and pray for them with love in your heart, setting aside grievances, better yet – giving those grievances to God.
WE CANNOT CHANGE HEARTS – BUT GOD CAN. HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT WALKING IN FORGIVENESS IS NOT THE KEY TO SOMEONE SEEING CHRIST IN YOU? EVEN IF THEY DON’T KNOW WHAT IT IS THEY ARE SEEING?
If Christ is to be our example, then there is NO better example than how Jesus lived.
JESUS FORGAVE (AND EVEN NOW) HE IS SEATED AT THE RIGHT HAND OF THE FATHER INTERCEDING ON YOUR (AND MY) BEHALF!
People of the world hold grudges, they don’t let go! They stew over it and gossip over it and hold tight to the wrongs that they feel have been done to them. Why? Because the devil and his demons relish the fact that they can use these grudges to taunt them and to grow bitterness, distension in families, hatred, division and so many other things that go against how God would have us live and be. Things that are totally NOT the way God would have us live. He has a higher calling for us, and part of the dying to self, is crucifying the flesh – in other words, forgiving as Jesus forgives. Ephesians 4:32 tells us:
“Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”
Colossians 3:13 says:
“Bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.”
And Matthew 18:21 says:
“Then Peter came up and said to him, “Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?” Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you seven times, but seventy-seven times.”
Throughout the Word of God (the Bible) we have examples over and over again HOW we are to walk in forgiveness. I use to wince at reading those scriptures and would start my “but God, they…” arguments. Here is the thing, forgiveness is a key thing and if we don’t choose to walk in forgiveness it stunts our walk in Christ. And the more we harden our heart to forgive the more “stuck” we become. Honestly, it stunts your spiritual growth and if you want to mature in Christ, you reach a point in your walk where in order to go forward, you MAY need to go back and face what you’ve tried to ignore…
Something that Holy Spirit has shown me, especially if you are interceding for someone, praying for reconciliation or an unsaved loved one – if you don’t choose to walk humbly in forgiveness, you may be delaying what God is needing to do in the heart of the individual whose hurt you. Your deciding to put the pain, hurt, anger or whatever it is at the foot of the cross COULD be the key to them seeing Christ in you, or if they are a Christian – allowing Holy Spirit to unharden their hearts. You may NEVER get an apology from that person but what matters is not so much getting a verbally apology, but knowing that your walking in forgiveness pleases the Father. And God heals! Peace comes with knowing that God SEES all! God knows your heart! I have even found within myself that when I walk in forgiveness, Holy Spirit puts a new love in my heart for the person I am praying for, especially if I am praying that God gives me eyes to see them as HE sees them. Please know that I’m not necessarily saying that forgiving someone means they are still in your life, you CANNOT make someone want to be in a relationship with you, nor should you continue to be in a relationship with someone who is abusive, but you CAN forgive them before the Father, in your prayer closet. You CAN let go and if you are praying for emotional healing, sometimes that “letting go” is the key to opening healing within your own self.
How do I pray, when I am needing to put aside my hurt and maybe even justified feelings towards someone who has hurt me? I pray like this:
“Father God, I thank You so much for Jesus. That Jesus CHOSE to die on the cross for forgiveness of MY sins and the sins of the world. Thank You Jesus. Lord, I won’t deny it is hard for me to walk in forgiveness towards _________________________________”
PUT THE NAME OF THE PERSON(S) HERE
“But Lord, I know that Your Word tells me I need to forgive. Help me Father, to mean what I am asking… I want to be obedient to You in all that You ask me to do. Father, please remove my heart of stone and give me a heart of flesh. Please help me to see her/him them in the same manner YOU see them. Father, I willingly choose to forgive them. Help me to forgive, as You have forgiven me for MY sins. Father heal my pain. I pray Lord, that You would work not only on my heart but on theirs as well. Father that they would have a heart for You. I pray that You would bless them, I pray that You would heal them. I pray that they would personally know You either as Savior and enter into a personal relationship with You so that You can be Lord OVER their lives or that if they already have confessed You as Savior and Lord over their lives that they would enter into a deeper walk with You. I desire a deeper walk with You Father. So I choose to forgive. Heal my heart Father and help me to move forward. If reconciliation is your will in this situation, I pray that it would occur. Kingdom of God come will of God be done. Be glorified in this situation Father. I thank You. In Jesus’ precious name I pray, Amen”
Be patient with yourself when you are asking God to help you walk in forgiveness, just every time something “ugly” comes up inside of you, ask the Lord to help you with your feelings to reflect what He would have you do, how He would have you walk. It is NOT easy, but it IS rewarding. And you never know what Holy Spirit is doing behind the scenes in that person’s life, since you have released them. Not only does it allow God to walk YOU in freedom, but it also may be JUST the thing for them to see (or experience) Christ in YOU. Remember, if someone knows you are a Christian, and they don’t KNOW Jesus – you can BET they are watching how you speak, live and act closely. You *MAY* be the only witness for Jesus that someone gets to see! We are ALL works in progress, but if you are part of God’s Called Remnant (a follower of Jesus) than YOU can BET you are being watched. In ALL things our desire should be to glorify God. I always let people know to keep their eyes focused on God and NOT me, because I AM a work in progress, and people disappoint us ALL the time, that is something that should NOT be reflected on our God, for He is perfect.
And here is how loving our God is – Sometimes He allows us to see the results of what that willingness to forgive someone begins to change the heart of the person your forgiving. Not ALWAYS but SOMETIMES God lets you get a small glimmer of the seeds of forgiveness you have planted take root. Sometimes this seed of forgiveness causes reconciliation or restoration with the broken relationship. Sometimes this seed of forgiveness planted by faith brings salvation to the individual who is NOT saved! Sometimes God allows – even years later for you to see what Holy Spirit has done because of your willingness to forgive in the life of the one you have forgiven! SOMETIMES not always, but even if that is not the case, God IS faithful. And here is something Holy Spirit just brought into my mind – SOMETIMES the person YOU need to forgive – is yourself… (Hmmmm – that’s a Word for someone…)
I feel like God is saying to you:
“How can I answer your prayer for this individual when you, yourself has been unable to forgive them?”
If THAT is not an ouch Word than I don’t know what is! For God to say to you:
You yourself are keeping them tied up. In order to proceed you need to ask for my forgiveness for your unforgiveness and then allow me to do what needs doing.!”
In order to get out of the way of what God is doing or wants to do – we NEED to forgive. Learning to walk in forgiveness is a continuous lesson throughout our lives that we have to learn and continue learning, ol’ slewfoot is good at pitting us against loved ones and loved ones against us. The days are getting darker and almost EVERYTHING offends someone! Let’s continue to ask God for guidance, to help us guard our hearts and give us eyes to see, ears to hear, a nose to smell His sweet fragrance and a discerning heart to comprehend how we are to live move and have our being in Him. THAT should be the desire of EVERY Christian’s heart, to forgive as Christ has forgiven us – Amen?!
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Is Holy Spirit speaking to your heart through this word? If so, leave a comment below! I love hearing from you!
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