How do you handle change? I’ve never been a fan of it. I’m a creature of habit, I like life to feel like a big comfy chair that over time has settled to the form of my body and I can climb into it and sigh, knowing what to expect. I’m a creature of habit, love routine and planning, spontaneity is not my thing – now don’t get me wrong, I love getting surprises (which doesn’t happen very often in my life), but I love settling down and having a plan, a routine. Unfortunately change in life is inevitable and just when you think you know the rhythm of life, it changes up on you, sometimes in the most unexpected ways and throws us for a loop, rocks our world… If your foundation is not found in Christ, Hebrews 13:5 says:
“I will never leave nor forsake you.”
STABILITY IS ONLY FOUND IN HIM
Listen, we all have life wounds, we were born in an unstable, fallen world that is constantly getting darker by the moment. Hurt people hurt people and I’m pretty sure you can think of some of the “hurt people” that have been in your life who have had a profound effect of hurt in the makeup of you… I know I can, and I’m pretty sure each one of you reading this, can pinpoint an example within your own lives, of someone who has wounded you. Need an example? Okay, you don’t have to be old enough in your walk with Christ to find one to use, Jesus used parables, I’ll use a personal example… My birth father left my mother for another woman when she was pregnant with my brother (they were married). I was three years old. He was the first male relationship I had ever had, as fathers often are in their children’s lives. I remember him and some of the things we use to do together. His leaving had a HUGE impact on how I saw myself, how I related to other males that would come into my life and really had a negative impact on the foundation of ME. For the longest time, I would run to the window of our home looking for him to return, to come back. Not only did it have a negative effect on me, but I saw the pain and anguish my mother went through because of his leaving. It had a huge impact on the foundation of our family – which by the way, were unsaved. It rocked our world. It caused an insurmountable cause of change in the lives of all of us. It is commonly known as a “father wound.” Like a pebble being thrown in calm waters, it caused rings that ended up reverberating through out the whole of my life and affected me in ways that only God knew it did. But here is the thing – NOTHING surprises God, NOTHING. The world we live in is not the world God intended us to live. God knew what He was saying in Genesis when He instructed Adam and Eve the following in Genesis 2:17:
“But you must not eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, for when you eat from it you will certainly die.”
The Father LOVINGLY created us with free-will, the ability to make our own decisions – WHY? Because God IS a God of love, and He didn’t want to create a creation that would be “robotic” and HAVE to love Him… That’s not love. Love IS a choice, and I don’t know you, but it makes me love God ALL the more, because He created me with the ability to choose – even when He knew that the majority of us, to our detriment (and unfortunately to many people’s demise) would choose not to love Him. Don’t think God did not know in advance the choice that Adam and Eve would make. NOTHING surprises God. Did it hurt Him? YES OF COURSE IT HURT HIM. All of you who are parents of prodigal children, when a child goes astray and chooses to go their own way, a way you know will hurt them – doesn’t it hurt you??? Why would you think that it would be ANY different with God? What people don’t understand, is that having been created with free-will is NOT always a GOOD thing when what you decide upon is to live a life without the One who created you! To live a life separated from Him. If that is what you choose – that is what God allows you, through YOUR OWN decision, to live a life without Him, both on this earth and eternally forever.
IT IS YOUR CHOICE, YOU MAKE IT – NOT GOD. STOP BLAMING GOD FOR THE CHOICES YOU DECIDE TO MAKE
When you stop and think about it, God is blamed for MANY choices we with our free-will decide to make… I cringe when I think about the mistakes I have made, and I’ll be honest – I’ve made my fair share (even while being a believer) and the truth of the matter is, I will probably in my life time make a whole lot more – but here is the difference when you are a Born-Again Believer, one who is determined (no matter how many time you wince) to listen and heed what it is Holy Spirit, as the Teacher shows me what needs to be transformed within me, as indicated in Romans 12:2:
“Do not conform to the pattern of this world but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.”
You and I have a common enemy – the devil, and you can bet it is his GREAT pleasure to ensnare us in traps that he and his demons have set and make no mistake about it – he IS looking for ways to trip you up. That’s why Ephesians 5:15-17 says:
“Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil. Therefore, do not be foolish but understand what the Lord’s will is.”
If we are not careful, the sins that our parents or their parents, or even their parents (and so on and so forth) can become what is called generational sins that WE make. I know – because some of the mistakes that my parents have made, unwisely and unknowingly, I have fallen into the SAME trap. That is why they can be referred to as “generational sins.” Just like that pebble mentioned above causing a ring of circle and disruption into otherwise calm waters, the reverberation can extend to future generations, unless through the blood of Jesus, the generational sins stop with us. And just in case you weren’t aware of this if your family line is marked by divorce, incest, poverty, anger or other ungodly patterns, you’re likely under a generational curse. The Bible says that these curses are tied to choices. Deuteronomy 30:19-20 says:
“This day I call the heavens and the earth as witnesses against you that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live and that you may love the Lord your God, listen to His voice, and hold fast to Him.”
AGAIN, YOU GET TO CHOOSE
As I said above, God knew the choice that Adam and Eve would make, and even though it pained His heart (yes God has feelings too… Remember we were created in HIS image) He had a plan in place to redeem man back to Him – should they make the choice to enter back into a right relationship with Him. John 3:16 says:
“God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believes in Him, shall NOT perish, but have everlasting life.”
Everlasting life was what God ALWAYS intended us to have – we were NOT created to experience death, but with Eve and Adam’s sin, just as with genetics, it was passed down to all generations following them, but through God’s love for us and our choice for redemption through the gift of salvation that Jesus made for us, we can CHOOSE to enter into a right relationship with God.
Back to my example, the hurt that “the sperm donor” caused me was one that God redeemed by bringing my stepfather (who was my dad) into my mother’s life years later. He was the man who took on the role as father to me and my brother, and he is the one who raised me. He in every sense of the word, was my dad. He loved us as a father should, imperfectly for he had a lot of his own family emotional wounds that had occurred in his life as a child, but he loved us with every part of his heart and truly it wasn’t until I had grown up and become a parent myself that I realized that the ONLY perfect parent there is – is God the Father, there is no perfect human parent. We ALL make mistakes, but God the Father is able to heal and redeem the pain if we choose and allow Him to do so. Years later, I decided to find “the sperm donor” myself, (I call him that because that is ALL he really was in my life. He had no other role). I believe God allowed me to find him so that I could see for myself that I had not missed out on having him as a father (and in truth, I really hadn’t). And even further than that, I learned that He had been raised in an orphanage with his brothers and sisters and had to panhandle as a child. Not to excuse his lack of parenting skills, but the truth IS he didn’t KNOW how to parent (or to be faithful to his wife). I had to reach a point in my walk with the Lord where I could forgive him for the mistakes he had made, and it wasn’t because he asked for my forgiveness (he wasn’t saved), but because in order to release him and to move forward in my walk with Christ, I had to let go of the pain he had caused me. Lay it at the foot of the cross – REALLY let it go. And in doing so, it enabled me to be able to move forward in Christ. What is it that Holy Spirit is showing you through my example that you may have to let go of in order for God to transform the renewing of YOUR mind through Holy Spirit? There is a sense of release when we forgive as the Father has asked us to forgive, as Jesus forgave. It’s not the easiest thing in the world to do, but once we CHOOSE to walk in forgiveness, there is a release, the pain no longer hurts and even more it allows us to REALLY pray for that individual that has hurt us. I pray that he gets saved, so the sins that he committed are forgiven. I pray for healing in his life, for the hurt that was previously done to him. I have no doubt that somewhere in his mind he has regrets, no doubt that he would deny that or has pushed them aside, nevertheless they are there. Should he accept Christ at some point in his life (if he is even still alive – as this was years and years ago) you can bet that the things that he needs to address within himself will float up to the top of his mind and he will have to address them in order for his mind to be transformed by Holy Spirit. What things within yourself is Holy Spirit telling you YOU need to address in order for you to further ahead in your walk with Him? Please believe me when I say that as you grow in Christ, Holy Spirit will reveal to you the things that you need healing from, it is always your choice to address them, or you may end up spiritually stuck at the same point you are at until you agree to move forward and address the life wounds you have in you. As I have said before, I am now 34 years into my relationship with Jesus, as long as I am willing (with my own free-will) to grow in Him, as long as I have breath in my body, Holy Spirit will continue to show me the areas within myself that need transformation and renewal. It’s okay to admit that because we are ALL works in progress. Spiritual growth can be painful – like cleaning out an infected wound, but it is also rewarding, and God takes the messes in our life and makes them messages – how do I know that? Because sharing this example and moment in my walk has now become a message that hopefully Holy Spirit will encourage someone else to go through – all to the very glory of God. 😉
By the way, stability can ONLY be found in Jesus. Life IS forever changing and very often we are thrown from our comfortable position of routine into something new. Life changes, but God and His love for us, does not. Stability is ONLY found in Him, no matter WHAT life throws our way. He’s the only one we can count on – but we have to make the choice to do so. I’m so glad I did, may it be the same with you.
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