This is probably one of the most important posts I will ever pen. I pray you will hear me as I share this with you… At some point in your journey with Christ you will come to a crossroad – one which will be the direction drawing you into a closer walk with the Father, His plan for your life; the other road, one that will misdirect you down a path keeping you from the direct will of God. Now, for some of you who are reading this – you’re thinking:
“Obviously Kelly, I’m going to take the direction God wants me to proceed. I will NEVER choose another way! I LOVE the LORD!”
To which my response would be:
“Okay, I hear you! I felt the SAME way! But are you SURE about that??? If I recall correctly my favorite Apostle, Peter once made the same declaration! Let’s dive in and take a look at it in Matthew 26:20-35:
“When evening came, Jesus was reclining at the table with the Twelve. And while they were eating, he said, “Truly I tell you, one of you will betray me.” They were very sad and began to say to him one after the other, “Surely you don’t mean me, Lord?” Jesus replied, “The one who has dipped his hand into the bowl with me will betray me. The Son of Man will go just as it is written about him. But woe to that man who betrays the Son of Man! It would be better for him if he had not been born. Then Judas, the one who would betray him, said, “Surely you don’t mean me, Rabbi?” Jesus answered, “You have said so.” While they were eating, Jesus took bread, and when he had given thanks, he broke it and gave it to his disciples, saying, “Take and eat; this is my body.” Then he took a cup, and when he had given thanks, he gave it to them, saying, “Drink from it, all of you. This is my blood of the covenant, which is poured out for many for the forgiveness of sins I tell you, I will not drink from this fruit of the vine from now on until that day when I drink it new with you in my Father’s kingdom.” When they had sung a hymn, they went out to the Mount of Olives. Then Jesus told them, “This very night you will all fall away on account of me, for it is written: “ ‘I will strike the shepherd, and the sheep of the flock will be scattered.’ But after I have risen, I will go ahead of you into Galilee.” Peter replied, “Even if all fall away on account of you, I never will.” “Truly I tell you,” Jesus answered, “this very night, before the rooster crows, you will disown me three times. But Peter declared, “Even if I have to die with you, I will never disown you.” And all the other disciples said the same.”
If you continue reading on from there, you will see how everything happened just as Jesus had said it would, Peter denied Him three times, and all the disciples fled. Peter whole heartedly meant what he said at the time that he said it, but when circumstances got tough and Peter got scared, he did exactly the opposite of what he told Jesus he would do, proving Jesus right.
Why do I bring this up? Because we look at Peter and we think we will NEVER be like that. But life can sometimes bring us to a place where we feel as though we are backed into a corner… Things that you NEVER thought would happen, happen. Sometimes we make “bad decisions” based on our emotions. It is VERY easy to find yourself going down a road that you swore you would NEVER go down. You can feel hard-pressed, desperate, lost, angry and find yourself in a situation of your own choosing that you NEVER dreamt you would be. The enemy’s tactics are not always obvious, remember the Bible tells us in 2 Corinthians 11:14:
“Satan himself masquerades as an angel of light.”
His methods are not always predictable. He studies you; he knows your weaknesses, he sees your reactions and he times his attacks at JUST the right moment, when you are most vulnerable. However, the Bible tells us in 1 Corinthians 10:13:
““There has been no temptation taken hold of you except what is common to man. But God is faithful; He will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able to bear, but with the temptation He will also make a way to escape, so that you may be able to endure it.”
But the choice is ALWAYS ours to make, we can either cave in to sin or temptation or we can stay steadfast and firm in turning away.
If you are a Christian who has fallen away from the LORD, I want you to know that God brought you to this post for a reason, He STILL loves you! He wants you to know that ALL it takes is turning back to Him! Repenting and telling Him how sorry you are! Believe me, I PERSONALLY know! Sixteen years ago, while going through a very difficult time with my family, I stepped into the trap of the enemy, one that I did not realize was a trap before it was too late. And even when I stepped into that trap, I chose NOT to escape. It lulled me, mesmerized me, made me want to stay right where I was and I found myself in the midst of a situation that I had ALWAYS said, I would NEVER be. It was ALWAYS my choice, but as I have already said, I allowed the enemy to catch me unaware and I stepped RIGHT into a landmine. The deeper I listened to the tempting seduction of the enemy the further I went down the wrong path for my life. It wasn’t until Holy Spirit through God’s grace and mercy, chased me down, made me aware of what I was doing, why I was doing it and helped me to recognize I needed to “wake up!” The enemy had duped me in a way I had never imagined he would, and thanks be to God, I repented and I made my way back to the Father. Broken and deeply ashamed of myself (especially because I had always said I would NEVER “be that person”) I had become what I had swore up and down I would NEVER be.
And boy, can I tell you how the enemy had a field day with me? First the enemy was angry that I heeded the voice of Holy Spirit and did an “about face.” Holy Spirit helped me to get out of the trap I had walked willfully into and I repented wholeheartedly. But it doesn’t stop there because if ol’ slewfoot since he was unsuccessful in keeping me in a backslidden point, went on to his next attack – tried to keep me filled with guilt, with unforgiveness and condemnation for my sins and stupidity. Listen, if that describes where you are or how you are feeling, please know that Jesus took your sins (and mine) upon His perfect Self on the cross, on Calvary! And IF you have repented, turned from your sins, you ARE completely forgiven! Covered by the precious blood of our Savior! Psalm 103:12 tells us:
“As far as the east is from the west, so far does he remove our transgressions from us.”
and in 1 John 1:9 it says:
“If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”
Ephesians 1:7 tells us:
“In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of his grace.”
Sometimes the biggest battle we have is in forgiving ourselves! Yet God IS faithful and just as Jesus forgave Peter and restored him to a right relationship with Him, if we are willing, God WILL restore us to a right relationship with Him too. The lesson that I learned from my time as a Prodigal, is that it is TRULY, TRULY, TRULY nothing but God’s grace, His forgiveness and His love that keeps us! It is NOT “how good we try to be” it is NOT our righteousness at all – for NONE of us are “righteous” our righteousness, the Bible tells us is as filthy rags! It is the blood bought righteous of Jesus that brings us into a RIGHT relationship with the Father. And here is the other thing – we have SUCH a loving Father, that He can take our “messes” and make “messages” (like this) out of it. I learned without a shadow of a doubt that it is only His grace, His mercy and His love (and let me also add His patience) that keeps me! And because I personally experienced what it feels like to go down a pathway God never intended me to go, I take what I learned from my wayward mistake to try and help others not to fall into the SAME trap of the enemy! Believe me when I say those traps don’t always look like the stereotypical traps we expect them to be. The enemy is clever and very GOOD at disguising things! That’s why the Bible tells us in Matthew 10:16:
“Behold, I am sending you out as sheep in the midst of wolves, so be wise as serpents and innocent as doves.”
And in 2 Corinthians 11:3:
“But I am afraid that as the serpent deceived Eve by his cunning, your thoughts will be led astray from a sincere and pure devotion to Christ.”
We MUST keep our eyes on Jesus! We MUST read our Bibles and familiarize ourselves with the Word of God! We MUST pray and ask God for wisdom! For guidance! We MUST cloth ourselves in the spiritual armor spoken about in Ephesians 6:10-18:
“Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of his might. Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the schemes of the devil. For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places. Therefore, take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand firm. Stand therefore, having fastened on the belt of truth, and having put on the breastplate of righteousness, and, as shoes for your feet, having put on the readiness given by the gospel of peace. In all circumstances take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming darts of the evil one; and take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God, praying at all times in the Spirit, with all prayer and supplication. To that end, keep alert with all perseverance, making supplication for all the saints.”
My mistake was thinking I could handle life on my own, but we were not created to live lives independent of the One Who created us to be in fellowship with Him. I very quickly realized that and while I repented and turned back to the LORD, the damage that my prodigal experience did to those I love is one that still reverberates. You see, when God gives us guidelines as we find in His love letter to us (The Bible), He has those guidelines for a reason! A loving Father who knows best for us and tries to shield us from things that will ultimately cause us pain and suffering, just as an earthly parent would try to protect their child from something like “burning their hand on a hot stove while reaching for cookies fresh out of the oven.” A child can only understand the parent saying, “No, don’t touch!” Perhaps not the reason behind it…
GOD LOVES US SO VERY MUCH!
I’ve grown so much since my prodigal experience, while it is a time that I still cringe at my stupidity when I look back on it, and I wish I had “NEVER” experienced it – but God in His grace and His mercy and His love and forgiveness has drawn me closer to Him in a healing process that has made me determine in my heart to listen more carefully, obey His instructions, as they have been written in love and live and move and have my being IN Him. While He has thrown my sins upon my confession and repentance into the sea of forgetfulness, I have learned how dependent upon I am on Him, and how much I desire to please my Father and NOT hurt Him. To determine to show Him in EVERY way I can how MUCH I love Him, because I do – I cling tighter to His neck, like a child who will not allow themselves to be put down. When you feel that way about the Father, walking in His love becomes the BEST kind of worship you can offer unto Him. Because the ONE thing I NEVER want to be – is without Him. 😉 I pray the same for you who are reading this – may you NEVER say NEVER, and may you NEVER find yourself in the place you always said you’d NEVER be. May you ALWAYS know the Father’s love and the very dear price that Jesus paid to wash yours (and my) sins away. There is NOTHING that can keep you from His love… Absolutely nothing.
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